Aging to Perfection

All young adults worry about one thing…Getting Old! Guys are petrified of going bald and women spend all of their twenties and thirties dreading a midlife muffin top. We can only hope that we age as well as the ladies and gents listed below.

FOR THE FELLAS


5. Jalen Rose- Age 39


All guys worry about that awkward post-thirty stage when you’re too young to dress like a grandpa, but too young to walk around with your pants sagging. Former NBA player and current ESPN analyst plays the part just right. Not to mention his hairline is still intact.

4. Matt Damon- Age 41


I didn’t know that Matt Damon was in his forties until I put together this list. I think he may have something with the whole baby face thing.

3. Michael McDonald - Age 60


Grey hair is inevitable fellas. Forget the Just for Men and embrace it like the singer Michael McDonald.

2. Diddy- 42


Diddy lives by the motto, “When in doubt where black and surround yourself by the most popular young people.”

1. Hugh Hefner- Age 85


Most old guys have the freedom to walk around in pajamas all day. But how many of them can say that they do it in the company of the sexiest women in the world? Hugh Heffner has that privilege.

FOR THE LADIES


5. Courtney Cox- Age 47


How ironic is it that this 47 year old is the star of a sitcom called “Cougar Town?” I wouldn’t mind being her co-star any day. Ladies, if you are going to play the cougar role follow her lead and do it sexy.

4. Michelle Pfieffer- Age 53


Michelle Pfieffer is proof to women around the world that fifty is not over the hill.

3. Stacey Dash- 44


Women dream they can be like Stacey Dash and leave everyone Clueless as to how she doesn’t look a day over 30.

2. Demi Moore- Age 49


Women can learn something about keeping their youth from the book of Demi Moore. Rule #1: Marry someone half your age. i.e. Ashton Kutcher

1.Tina Turner- Age 72


Pushup bras stop the boobs from looking saggy. They got pads to make your butt look firm. But a great set of legs can never be imitated. Ladies, keep your legs as tight as Tina Turner and you will be ahead of the curve. Literally!

Piss on Week 2.29.12

Warning!! No one in the following post is actually being pissed on. It is simply an expression meant to describe how outrageous and unforgivable the actions of the following people really are. Anyone who finds this segment offensive automatically gives me the right and the duty to piss on them as well.

Sincerely,

Professional Rationalist

10. Sleeping on the Job


Everybody doses off on the job from time to time. But once snoring, drooling or a dream come into the equation you have to get pissed on.

9. Pat Knight


Remember the coaching days of Bobby Knight? You know the guy that through folding chairs onto the court and went off screaming whenever he had the chance too. Well it looks like his son Pat, coach of the Lamar Cardinals is up to the same thing.



He gets pissed on for proving that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.


8. NBA Slam Dunk Contest


I can’t be mad at the guys who competed in this year’s NBA Slam Dunk Contest.

But LeBron James, Dwight Howard, Blake Griffin and Andre Iguodala get “the business” for not coming off their high horse and making it a real competition.

7. Michael Nutter


The Mayor of Philadelphia was captured on camera slapping a woman’s ass at a local bowling alley this past summer. Why is this the first time you’re hearing about it? Because Mayor Nutter put the pressure on local news station not to air the footage.

Nutter gets pissed on for making news editor one of his duties as Mayor.

6. Saving of Philadelphia Catholic Schools


Before you call me an atheist, here me out. I went to Catholic School so this is no prejudice whatsoever. Four Philadelphia Catholic high schools were in danger of closing. In less than two months, $5 million was raised to keep them open. So how is it that we can’t raise half of that in a year to keep open educational programs in the inner city?

I’m pissing on anyone who donated large sums to this cause but refuses to give a dime to stop violence and poverty in the city.

5. Adele


Singing sensation Adele recently gave the middle finger to the host of the 2012 Brit Awards for cutting her acceptance speech short.


A lot of people would say the host should get the business.

But I’m choosing to piss on Adele instead for being so long winded all the time. Sorry sweetheart, but we’ve got an award show to do. Save the rest of your speech for Twitter.

4. Ben and Jerry’s


The famous ice cream company got caught up in the Jeremy Lin hype and put fortune cookies in their “Taste the Lin-Sanity” frozen yogurt. Talk about stereotypes?

Ben and Jerry’s gets pissed on for not calling it a day with the Cherry Garcia flavor.

3. Allen Iverson


In case you haven’t heard Allen Iverson was offered a deal to play soccer for the Rochester Lancers. Normally these types of things are looked at as a joke; a small market team trying to get some publicity. In this case, A.I. may really take the deal!

Allen Iverson gets pissed on for blowing so much money that he has to play soccer in order to survive. What’s next? Bull fighting?

2. Manny Pacquiao


The Pac Man is considering moving from his endorsement deal from Nike to Jordan brand. He gets pissed on for considering anything other than fighting FloydMayweather right now.

1.Marston Hefner


The son of Hugh Hefner was recently arrested for allegedly beating his , “Playmate of the Year,” girlfriend, Claire Sinclair.

Needless to say he gets “wet up” for not knowing how to play it cool with the ladies like his dad.

3X5 Podcast #14

Week two on GTown Radio is in the books and in case you missed all the fun, here is what you missed you dirty rotten S.O.B.!!:

Recap of the 31PERCENT Life Event at Aura! Keem and Malik Shabazz got Ozzie riled up and defending Whitney Houston! WYO, an up and coming Philly Native, dropped off his new single "Land of the Kings" and introduced himself to the world! Oh and did we mention that we played the hot songs listed below?

Download the mix and subscribe to our Podcast.....NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!


Listen by clicking the player below:






Download this episode (right click and save)


Subscribe to 31Percent's iTunes podcast station by clicking on the link below:

Playlist:

1. Asher Roth: Dope Shit
2. Little Brother: Good Clothes
3. Whitney Houston: Million Dollar Bill
4. Lee Fields and The Expressions: Ladies
5. Moosh and Twist: Black Forest Gummy Worms
6. Tupac: I Get Around
7. J. Cole feat. Missy Elliott: Nobody's Perfect
8. Brand Nubians: Don't Let It Go To Your Head
9. Busta Rhymes: Woo-Hah
10. WYO: Land of the Kyngz
11. Tabi Bonney: Garfield Fish Bones
12. Diamond D: I Went For Mine
13. Madlib: Take It Back
14. Kendrick Lamar feat Busta Rhymes: Rigamortus Remix

Concussions: A Crash Course

By John Butler

Great players in any sport separate themselves from the rest with their ability to play smart. Knowledge of the game and its inner workings allows the greats to outsmart the game plan intended to halt their success. The upper echelon of athletes relies on their brain just as much as their brawn. So what is a prolific athlete to do when concussions begin to take a toll on his career?

Sidney Crosby of the Pittsburgh Penguins is in what should be the prime of his career. At age 24, he has already accomplished a career’s worth of achievements, which includes an NHL MVP trophy and an Olympic Gold Medal. His NHL future now lies in jeopardy because he has suffered a series of concussions. Now the player who led the NHL is goals scored for 2010 has only seen the ice in eight of his team’s 60 games this season. Not only are the side effects of the injury affecting his yearly statistics, but his place in NHL history as well.

Crosby isn’t the first hockey player whose career has been threatened by long lasting concussion symptoms. Eric Lindros, Marc Savard and Chris Pronger are just a handful of players whose careers have been drastically altered because of the side effects of concussions experienced on the ice. Due to the nature of the game we have become accustomed to hockey players coping with this type of injury. However, it is becoming more common in other sports like never before. The number of concussions in the NFL went up 21 percent from 2009 to 2010. That number continues to rise. Even the NBA, the least physical of professional contact sports, gets its share of head injuries. Rookie of the Year candidate Kyrie Irving recently returned to the court after suffering a concussion in early February. Like Sidney Crosby, Kyrie Irving’s Cleveland Cavaliers depend on him to be a long term leader of the franchise. For these two players and so many others, the threat of concussions places the roll of “franchise player” in jeopardy every night.

Improvements have been made to equipment that is meant to keep professional athletes out of harms way. Rules have been implemented to ensure the safety of players when they appear to be defenseless against a crushing blow. The NFL has gone as far as hiring independent doctors to monitor players who experience head trauma during the game. Despite these strides to improve, very little has changed as a result.

Quite frankly, players are bigger, stronger and faster than ever before. Nothing positive can occur to the human body when you have athletes with such great physical strength attacking each other on a nightly basis. There has never been an NFL running back with the size and speed of Brandon Jacobs. Trouble always lies ahead when he meets a middle linebacker head on in the open field. As talented as Michael Jordan was, he would never imagine running over opposing players with the brute strength of LeBron James. Now LeBron does it to literally anyone who gets in his way.

As much as we want to protect the players who are putting their mental health at risk on a nightly basis, everyone loves the hard hitting, bone crushing appeal that is professional sports. On one hand we create a villain out of a player whose style puts his fellow athletes at risk of brain injuries. However, we turn around and admonish a player who appears scared to hurt someone. Let’s face it, athletes today are too strong to endure intense physical contact and walk away unharmed every time. Until we as fans are willing to trade in hard hits for love taps, concussions will jeopardize the careers of Sidney Crosby and many athletes in the years to come.

WYO Presents:"Land of the Kyngz"

If you tuned in to 3x5 Radio this past weekend you had the pleasure of hearing an in depth interview with rising Philadelphia rapper, WYO. Now check out his latest single, "Land of the Kyngz," before it's released.

Thunder's Dynamic Duo

By John Butler

The idea of a sidekick has been working its wonders for years. Batman never fought crime without Robin. Imagine Jerry Seinfeld’s antics without George Costanza adding his two cents. And has anyone ever caught Jack Nicholson at a Lakers game without white bearded Lou Aldner sitting by his side? The same partner in crime mentality has taken place throughout the history of the NBA. Sure we have examples of guys like Scottie Pippen and Michael Jordan who defeated evil villains known as the rest of the league to win 6 championships. But we also have stories like Kevin Garnett and Stephon Marbury who were unable to overcome the kryptonite of greed and succeeding in a small market. So how will the NBA duo of Oklahoma City’s Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook play out?

Durant and Westbrook are often overshadowed by the big market tandems of Carmelo Anthony and Amare’ Staudamire in New York and Wade, LeBron and Bosh in Miami. But according to the numbers that never lie, Oklahoma City is the best team in the NBA with a 25-7 record. It’s been argued that Durant, in his fifth NBA season, and Westbrook, in his fourth, don’t have enough NBA experience to take their team to the next level. But the duo has already taken OKC to the playoffs the last two seasons, which includes a trip to the Western Conference finals. The next level for them is the NBA Finals.

Kevin Durant has a very friendly demeanor. He’s a superstar that sees his teammates as more than just the other eleven players on the roster. Durant really is “one of the guys.” But does that mentality blur the lines as to who is the superstar and who is the wingman? It certainly does, but only when the true wingman feels he isn’t getting paid what he deserves. The front office of the Oklahoma City Thunder eliminated that potential problem when they resigned Westbrook to a five year $80 million contract.

Russell Westbrook gets a bad rep for his style of play. He feels like he can beat you one on one every time and his 18.5 shot attempts per game proves it. Some say that a handful of those shots should be passes to Kevin Durant, but that high number of attempts results in 22 points per game. It alleviates the pressure placed on Kevin Durant to score. After all, isn’t it the role of the sidekick to give the super hero the extra boost needed to come through in the clutch? That’s exactly what these two did on Sunday night when Durant scored 51 points and Westbrook added 40. It’s this dually fueled scoring machine that has allowed their team to be successful.

So when the dust clears will the OKC dynamic duo of Durant and Westbrook be able to fight the evil villains of the NBA? Will they stand victorious against the powerhouse squads like Miami and New York? How long will the pair be satisfied with fighting crime in a small market before one of them goes to LA or Chicago? It’s up to those two guys if they will be the quintessential Batman and Robin or Cheech and Chong and watch their legacy go up in smoke.

My Favorite Athlete TV Appearances

Philadelphia Phillies center fielder Shane Victorino will be guest starring on “Hawaii Five-O” tonight. While his personality is meant for TV, he’s got a long way to go before we can call his guest appearance one of the best in television history. Here are some of my personal favorite athletes to try their luck on TV over the years.

5. Mike Tyson



Sure they called him Frederick Tatum on “The Simpsons”, but lets be honest with ourselves. He was a boxer and a convicted felon who was a splitting image of Iron Mike! It’s just a shame though that we never got to see the end of that fight between Tatum and Homer Simpson.

4. Hulk Hogan



Shane Victorino isn’t the first guy to try acting in the tropics. I know a lot of people are going to be mad at me for calling Hulk Hogan an athlete, but Hulkamaniacs went wild for “Thunder in Paradise” in the nineties. (No matter how unrealistic it was)



3. Chris Webber



I would have never thought that Chris Webber had a dark side. That was until he was arrested for murder on an episode of “New York Undercover.”



2. Peyton Manning



Rumors of Peyton Manning being Mr. Funny Guy were questioned until his appearance on Saturday Night Live. Who can forget his United Way skit?



1. Julius Erving


Who else could get Dr. J to hang out in a trash can but The Grouch? Shane Victorino has some big shoes to fill on “Hawaii Five-O” if he thinks he can do better than Julius Erving on “Seasame Street.”