Nowadays in rap there is an artist that represents every lifestyle. Rick Ross personifies the “blow money fast” attitude. Common is for the conscious dude. And Lil Wayne is for the weirdo. (yeah I took a shot at Lil Wayne fans) But what about the mobsters? Without further adieu I bring you Joe Pesci and Wiseguy Music.
If I told you an NFL quarterback had just ten touchdowns, a meager 1,054 yards passing and a mediocre QB rating of 87.9 through ten NFL games, you would call him a NCAA Division II coach in the making. Instead, many refer to a guy with those identical numbers as the savior of a franchise. A superstar in the making. The best quarterback in Denver since John Elway. But before we crown Tim Tebow the next franchise player of the Denver Broncos, let’s take a close look at what he has and hasn’t accomplished.
Despite being unorthodox and lacking proper mechanics, no one can deny the fact that Tebow is winning right now. He has his team sitting atop the AFC West and riding high on a five game winning streak. But as you take a look at those wins, you begin to see the story unfold. Only two of the five teams he has defeated in those W’s have a winning percentage over .500. They narrowly escaped with a victory last week against the now 2-10 Vikings and it is very possible that not one of them will make the playoffs. I get the fact that a win is a win but do we know how Tebow will perform against the elite NFL teams?
A lot of Tebow’s early success is due to his determination and ability to block out the naysayers. Whenever a reporter questions his abilities in a post- game interview,he manages to give a picture perfect response, filled with colorful language about “teammates” and “faith.” The question remains: how long can he remain beloved by Tebow-maniacs? Based on a mid-season poll among current NFL players, he has already been voted the most overrated. Even the team’s owner and Hall of Famer John Elway is leery of throwing praise Tebow’s way. Will the fans have his back if the team hits a losing streak? How long before wide receivers get fed up with running deep routes only to find out that the quarterback can’t reach them? It will be a very tough task for Tebow to overcome these types of obstacles in a league where the life expectancy of a starting quarterback is getting slimmer than Terry Bradshaw’s hairline. How many more games can he win going a ridiculous 2/8 for 69 yards like he did against Kansas City?
I do think he has intangible qualities necessary to lead a championship caliber team however. He plays hard, he’s a leader and all the other good stuff you see in Nike commercials. If the Broncos can continue to improve their already tenacious defense and develop a Terrell Davis-like running back, the only thing they will need Tebow to do is not turn the ball over. In fact, lack of turnovers may be the one statistical category in which he excels with just one interception this year. He reminds me of a struggling quarterback who found a way to get his team to the 2006 Super Bowl despite not being the most talented QB; Rex Grossman. No one would dare pick Rex in the first round of a fantasy draft, but the truth remains that he had enough talent around him where all he had to do was not screw up. As long as Denver’s defense doesn’t mind spending a lot of time on the field and the kicker is ready to boot three or four field goals a game, the Broncos and Tebow can emulate the success of the ’06 Bears.
The level of success that Tim Tebow will reach is completely up to him. Will he continue to develop his passing game? Will he learn to not take so many crushing hits while running the option? Will he work with his coaches to develop a system that showcases his talents as opposed to exposing his weaknesses? His best statistical years may be behind him on a football field at the University of Florida. He may never have more NFL passing yards than Tebowing.com page views. And that’s exactly why football fans are excited to see just how successful Tim Tebow can become.
60 Minutes once ran a segment on elderly people being abused in retirement homes. It pulled at my heart because I am so close with my grandparents. Years later I still tease them with the idea of putting them in abusive retirement homes if they get out of line. I may not amend that decision and force them to dance to Big Sean's hit sing "A$$."
Justin Bieber likes to not only rap on beats..he also has the gift to gab with the ladies. Oh Baby. Thanks to Jimmy Fallon, Justin may have a new hit song on his hands. Check out the late night hosts funny take on Bieber's possible baby momma drama.
The fall is upon us on the east coast. It sucks getting out of bed now. Having your feet hit the cold floor, brushing your teeth as you think about how good it would feel, and dreading your commute for school and work. When all else fails, dance it off like the man in the video below.
This year on December 25th, hoop fans will be able to un-wrap the gift of a salvaged NBA season. No more guessing as to whether or not LeBron will participate in a charity game. No more watching Euroleague Basketball to catch a glimpse of NBA talent. We will finally get to see NBA competition once again. Although this is something we should all be Tebowing over, Sixers fans in particular should look at this year as the beginning of something special.
The key to any successful franchise is its ownership. Take a look at the NBA squads that have been successful, and an ownership with a proven track record will surely follow. Just look at the overzealous Mark Cuban and what he has done with the NBA Champion Dallas Mavericks. That type of passion is something that has been missing from the Sixers’ front office since the departure of Pat Croce. It appears as though new Managing Owner Joshua Harris is going to bring that back to the city. During this stagnant off-season he has already vowed to bring Dr. J back to the team in some capacity, added esteemed Jeff Capel to the coaching staff and gave Hip-Hop, the mascot, a pink slip. Just wait until he can begin to make moves with the roster! This is a guy that knows this team needs to make changes from top to bottom and he’s not afraid to do it.
We can all play fantasy owner and dream up trades that would make the Sixers an instant contender (Elton Brand to any team is my favorite) but the current roster may not perform all that bad in a shortened season. The Sixers won’t be faced with the challenge of adapting to a new head coach like the LA Lakers. Nor will they have to worry about vital rookies adapting to a new system like teams who had lottery picks in this summer’s draft. Barring any unforeseeable blockbuster trades, the Sixers will be heading into this season with the same group of guys that finished last year on a hot streak. Add the fact that a 66 game schedule, with only 18 of those against the Western Conference, the Sixers are sure to luck up and avoid playing some of the top Western Conference teams this year. The last time the Sixers played a shortened season (1999 NBA Lockout) they improved from the 14th spot in the Eastern Conference to a six seed in the playoffs. Fans of the storied franchise can only hope for similar results come this season.
We can also look forward to a breakout season from point guard Jrue Holiday. Last year he averaged 14 points and 6 assists per game in just his second year in the league. His numbers were significantly better after the All-Star break and I see no reason for that success not to continue, especially under the tutelage of head coach and former All-Star point guard Doug Collins. If he can get the job done at the point without the help of a single All-Star on his team, it’s no telling what Holiday can do once he is surrounded by the right talent.
Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not ordering that we clean the rafters and make room for a championship banner anytime soon. Sure there are a lot of questions left unanswered as we prepare for this unique season to unfold. We don’t know if Andre Iguodala will finally earn his $90 million contract. It’s uncertain if Elton Brand will spend more time on the floor than the kids that sweep the court. Hell, we still don’t even have a mascot! One thing is for certain- as the franchise works its way back to the top of the Eastern Conference, this season will serve as an early milestone for how it will all come together.
I don’t get into politics too much, but I know enough to realize that this guy Herman Cain is a true character. And what better person to portray a character than “Iron” Mike Tyson. I can’t say that this guy is fit to be the next president, but I can promise you that this video is hilarious.
Warning!! No one in the following post is actually being pissed on. It is simply an expression meant to describe how outrageous and unforgivable the actions of the following people really are. Anyone who finds this segment offensive automatically gives me the right and the duty to piss on them as well.
Sincerely,
Professional Rationalist
10. 50 Cent No this wasn’t a Halloween costume. 50 Cent really went and got braids in 2011.
He gets the business for thinking that just because he has money he won’t get pissed on for getting vintage Iverson braids .
9. Lindsey Iglesias and Lee Brooks
These two knuckleheads recently committed 8 burglaries inside of the Donovan Smith mobile home park. They stole flat screens, video game systems and allegedly found time to take a nap in one of the houses they robbed.
That’s right! This fake ass Bonnie and Clyde get pissed on for sleeping on the job.
8. People Who Can’t Park One of my neighbors drives a Mini Cooper and she never fails to take up two parking spots. Despite the fact that she could probably fit her miniature vehicle through her front door, she always takes up a space big enough for an SUV.
This chick and anyone else who doesn’t understand the concept of one car equals one parking spot gets “wet up.”
JetBlue gets pissed on for having those people on the plane all day and only having soda and pretzels for them to eat.
6. Nick Cannon It’s been a while since Nick Cannon has made my list, but once I heard this song I had to welcome him back.
Nick the Quick gets pissed on for not realizing that the only thing he ever pimped was Nickelodeon.
5. Michael Zuk
Pictured above is the tooth of Beetle John Lennon, which Michael Zuk purchased for $31,000. http://www.cnn.com/2011/11/05/world/europe/uk-lennon-tooth-auction/index.html?hpt=hp_t2
Michael Zuk gets pissed on for playing Tooth Fairy and spending so much cash on a rotten tooth.
4. Unemployment Benefits I was reading the news the other day and I came across and pitiful statistic..Only 48% of unemployed people are receiving benefits because most people have exhausted their 99 weeks of eligibility.
If people can’t find a job in 99 weeks, I think the system has to be pissed on. Wouldn’t you agree?
3. Pet Hippopotamus I’ve always wanted a pet white tiger and people look at me like I’m crazy when I say it. Well if I can’t have a white tiger than it’s no way this chick can have a pet hippo.
Out of all the exotic pets someone could grab, choosing a hippo definitely gets this chick pissed on.
2. Texting Bride Imagine after years of nagging you finally decide to bite the bullet and marry your girl, and this is what she does at the alter.
This chick gets pissed on for feeling that she immediately had to change her status to married on Facebook.The shake before the zip goes to the groom for not calling the whole thing off right then and there.
1. Follow us on Twitter If you like what you see here, then follow us on Twitter @31Percent for info about upcoming events and giveaways.
Otherwise you join the list of people that have been pissed on!
“The District” prides himself on his adlib capabilities when his favorite songs are in rotation. I must admit, he can play hype man with the best of them. I don’t know if he can get it rockin’ like the crowd in the picture above, but this got me to thinking...Who are the best? Take a look at my list of top hype men in rap.
Spliff Star
Did you know that Spliff Star was once an artist on Flipmode Records? He turned in his dreams of a successful solo career and has been rocking the mic alongside Busta Rhymes since 1996.
Memphis Bleek
Sure he had a few solo albums, but let’s be serious. The only time you have seen Memphis Bleek on stage in the 2000’s has been to help out childhood pal Jay-Z. He is one of the few hype men however, who can say that he had number one hits of his own.
Diddy
Find me a Badboy track that doesn’t have Diddy’s signature adlibs in the background. He makes sure you know what record label you’re listening to. Whether he’s hyping up Peach Ciroc in the club or one of hip-hop's top artist on stage, Diddy is one of the best. You can’t even imagine a Biggie song like “Big Poppa” without him on the track.
Flavor Flav
The OG of hype men is more than just a reality TV star who wears obnoxiously large clocks around his neck. His stage presence complimented Chuck D’s militant lyrics in an unusual pairing, and made Public Enemy a legendary rap group.
Who’s Your Favorite?
I’ve told you who I think are the best. Who do you think does the best job of adding something extra to a song? Is there anyone that I missed? Is Diddy overrated? Feel free to let me know in the comments section.
Hold up a darn minute. Did we all miss the memo? Didn't Taylor Swift get punked by a rapper and then swear off RAPPERS? At least that's what I assumed. Turns out she got turned out by a rapper. I guess once you go rap you never go back. While on tour Ms. Swift has had a rapper or two join her on stage to perform once of their hits. What's next for Taylor? Tattoo's and bong rips?
Some people may not know this, but I am a huge fan of R&B music. Yeah Jay-Z and Biggie are classics, but sometimes it’s necessary to slow things down a bit. The characteristic of R&B that I feel is the most important is the artist’s ability to express himself.
R&B artists can utilize vivid wordplay for subjects not often suitable for hard-core rap lyrics. Some singers, such as Jaheim, fail to take advantage of this luxury as they croon about “the block” and “rolling up.” They leave you wondering, “Why didn’t I just listen to Beanie Sigel if all you were going to do was sing me rap bars?”
Needless to say, it’s always refreshing to hear someone do it right. Recently, I’ve come across a new artist by the name of Tony T from DC who does just that. Listen for yourself and I’m sure you will agree.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. No one over the age of 7 should have a Mohawk.
Mr. “Just Gimmie the Light” gets the business for being another example of “When Trying to Remain Young Goes Wrong"
9. Cantaloupe
Anyone that knows me well knows that I love fruit. This is why it pains me so much to have to piss on cantaloupes. However, anytime a fruit is responsible for the death of 21 people, something has to be done.
Sure a recall of cantaloupes might seem sufficient, but I’m pissing on the contaminated produce for changing the consistency of my fruit salads.
8. Potheads
No, I’m not talking about people that smoke weed all the time. I’m referring to the new candy that is shaped like a marijuana plant.
Potheads get pissed on for being the first candy considered a gateway drug. Lol
7. XXX-mail
So I know someone who finds it necessary to forward emails of naked women at least once a week. It’s gotten so bad that I’ve set my e-mail account to mark anything coming from him as Spam. What makes these naked pics so important that you need to copy 15 people in your erotic emails? I know where the naked chicks are on the world-wide web- if I want to see them, I’ll go there.
So unless your sending me a Rihanna and Nicki Minaj sex tape featuring Kim Kardashian, people like this guy get pissed on for trying to spark a XXX e-mail chain.
6. NBA Lockout
Seriously guys! It was all fun and games when training camp was canceled, but now you are interfering with the regular season. The first two weeks of the season have already been canceled and who knows what’s coming next.
The powers that be in the NBA get pissed on this week for forcing me to play video games to get some NBA action this year.
5. Marshall Junior High School
The assistant principal of this school used a black Sharpie to fill in a part that a student had shaved into his head. According to the school, the small part was in direct violation of the dress code.
I couldn’t tell you if the part violated the dress code, but the school does get pissed on for using a poor kid’s head as a whiteboard.
4. Cat Lovers
This one may be biased because I truly hate cats. But don’t you think there’s something creepy about a person who has 5 cats in a two bedroom home? Or the chick that carries photos of “Fluffy” in her wallet? Hey if four-legged felines are your thing, by all means go ahead.
But when cats have you going bonkers like this Villanova grad, you get pissed on for being out of your mind.
3. Amish Roundup
The Amish are a very simple people- which is why I couldn’t wait to find out what they could have possibly gotten locked up for when I saw this story. Turns out they refused to display safety signs on the back of their buggies.
Anyone who has nothing better to do than worry about Amish buggies passing vehicle inspections needs to be pissed on.
2. Doc Gooden’s “Dr. Feel Good”
In 1986, the New York Mets were the World Champions of Major League Baseball. And do you know where their star pitcher was during their parade? He was high on drugs at his pusher’s house in the projects. I can’t piss on Doc Gooden for having a drug problem. (I wish him the best in his journey to recovery)…
But I can piss on the drug dealer who didn’t have the common courtesy to give Doc a wakeup call.
1. Linda Ann Weston
This chick held mentally handicapped people hostage and turned her basement into a dungeon. And it was all a social security scam! I know times are hard, but this lady took it too far.
She gets pissed on for trying to film the latest “Saw” flick in her basement.
Beyonce made it clear that "Girls run the world." Michelle Obama continues to change the worlds weight issues through her fight against childhood obesity. Neither of these powerful women have Nicki Minaj beat. She has little people performing her songs with a passion that Harriet Tubman, Rosa Parks, and Betsy Ross would be proud of. GIRL POWER!
My younger cousin is a sour patch kids addict. I have a sneaky suspension that the women of his dreams will recite her winning vows, and then have her bridesmaids shower him with sour patch kids. Trust me people: he would then breakdown into tears. Hell when he sees this video, he will breakdown in tears. I hope he remembers that real men cry...SOMETIMES!
This past weekend I attended an event with the rest of 31 Percent at an art gallery in the city. I was extremely impressed by how the night began. There was a great décor, drinks and appetizers, not to mention, the artwork was mind-blowing. To add to my delight, everything was free of charge. The room was filled with intelligent people who have achieved varying degrees of success in their careers. As the evening began, I was under the impression that the pastel paintings on the walls would be the only artwork on display. As it turned out, I got to witness first-hand the dark images that drape the canvas of “HATE.”
“Her hair is a mess.” “Look at those shoes.” “They don’t even have Ciroc here.” “Why is he so short?” These are just a few of the statements I overheard coming from a group of women. They huddled in the corner, Mascato in hand, dishing out criticism of everyone who entered the gallery. They sat with scowls on their faces, scrutinizing patrons, as if they were judges on an Olympic committee. As I watched these women give out no score higher than a four, I had so many questions. Who died and made them art gallery critics? Are they really upset that this guy is only 5’6? Who gets mad at a free event? Most importantly, why must I constantly encounter people like this? Only one word could answer my series of questions...HATE!
Some people hate that you have a better job than them. They despise the fact that you have a nice car. They are peeved that you went on a date with some girl they went to high school with ten years ago! This hate is then coupled with childish behavior. The rolling of the eyes, the sucking of the teeth and the always-present gossiping. Although unnecessary in my eyes, some people view these acts as part of their daily regimen.
The question remains, why? Why spend your time on negativity? Instead of being envious of someone else’s possessions, you should ask what they did to achieve success. Instead of being angry at another woman for dating “the man of your dreams,” you should realize that there are 20 other individuals in the room who could be “the man of your reality.” There is so much scrutinizing taking place, but people often fail to do the criticizing where it matters the most...WITHIN!
If someone isn’t happy with the current state of their lifestyle, it’s no one’s responsibility to change things but their own. Figure out what you want and get it! Get to the point in your life where you have more important things to do than snicker at someone who has on last year’s Polo. Because quite frankly, Hate Paints an Ugly Picture.
