Sing, Smile, and Don't Sweat It

I can only imagine how hard things have been on President Obama. Health Care Reform, the economy, debt, the Bears, and not to mention the health of Derrick Rose's toe.

Sometimes when times get hard, you have to smile, and just sing your favorite song. If you sing as bad as the President did in the video below, I recommend that you do so while in the shower.

Mashing out with the Muppet Babies

The members of M.O.P may have always looked like cartoon characters but they were always rumored to be "REAL." Rappers that lived what they actually rapped about. After years of Mashing OUT with their Posse, it looks like they are still keeping it real and reviewing the new Muppet Babies movie. Check out M.O.P's hilarious review and then view what type of music they are known for. Funny what having kids will do to the toughest man.

Drake is making "Head Lines" Sorta

Drake is having a pretty good year. His second album debuted at #1 on the charts, he is headlining a successful tour, he set a new record for #1 singles on the Hip Hop charts, and he did not embarrass himself as he traded bars with Rapper/Actor/Dope Lyricist Common.

None of that has stopped people for taking shots at "wheel chair Jimmy." Take a look at a spoof by Rapper/Comedian Affion Crockett.

Piss On Week 2.2.12

Warning!! No one in the following post is actually being pissed on. It is simply an expression meant to describe how outrageous and unforgivable the actions of the following people really are. Anyone who finds this segment offensive automatically gives me the right and the duty to piss on them as well.

Sincerely,

Professional Rationalist

10. Amber Rose


I promise, this isn’t my way of fulfilling some type of sick fantasy. But anyone who makes music this awful deserves to get the business.


Amber Rose gets pissed on for thinking that people want to hear an entire album of this nonsense.

9. Aaron Rodgers


The NFL Pro Bowl took place this past Sunday and apparently Packers QB Aaron Rodgers was the only one who cared. He called out his NFC East teammates for “embarrassing themselves” with their lack of effort.

Rodgers gets wet up for expecting anyone to play hard in a game that doesn’t matter. Hey Rodgers, don’t be mad at everyone else because you are not in the Super Bowl.



8. Philadelphia 76ers


It’s damn near the All-Star break and still No Mascot!! They fire Hip-Hop and replace him with nothing?!?

I’m relieving myself on the Sixers for not hitting up the Phillie Phanatic for temporary relief.

7. Pastor Stephen Addy


Talk about abusing your powers. This pastor was conducting his daily mission when he spotted a young woman he just had to pray with. While in the woman’s home, engaged in prayer, the pastor allegedly decided that it was a good idea to lick her vagina.

Needless to say Pastor Stephen Addy gets pissed on for speaking in tongues.

6. Key and Peele


I’m always down for a good variety comedy show. The keyword however is funny. “In Living Color” -Funny. “Chapelle Show”- Hilarious. Key and Peele?


Pissed on for being more ignorant and racist than a Crown Fried Chicken X Colt .45 collaboration.

5. Leap Year


Honestly, who gives a damn about February 29th? Pissed on for being pointless.

4. Tim O’Boyle


This fool is auctioning off a 2005 Chrysler 300C on eBay that was once owned by President Obama and the starting bid is $1million. The end. Nothing special happened in the car. No Monica Lewinsky-like stories. Just a car Obama put 19,000 miles on.

Tim O’Boyle gets pissed on for thinking just because Obama told his kids, “Don’t make me come back there” in this vehicle that it is worth all that money.

3. Baby


The CEO of Cash Money Records has put his money where his mouth is. Baby has offered to bet $5million that the New England Patriots will win the Super Bowl. I’m not mad that he bet a cool $5mill. (That’s chump change to a guy whose net worth is $100million)

He does get pissed on however not making a bet that large when his hometown Saints were in the big game.

2. Bullsh*t


We all know what it looks like. We even know what it smells like. So why do people still try to dish out bullsh*t every now and then.

Anyone who thinks that a 31 Percenter can’t smell their lies and manipulations coming from a mile away deserves to be pissed on.

1. Best Buy Black History Month CD


This is a prime example of great idea meets bad implementation.

Best Buy gets the number one spot on this week’s list for including rapper Webbie’s song “In Dis B*tch” on its Black History Month tribute CD. They get the shake before the zip for including a Ja Rule track. Thanks for nothing Best Buy.

31 Percent Life NYE Recap

Thanks once again to everyone who came out to celebrate New year's Eve with us. And if you weren't able to make it, here's what you missed. Keep checking 31PercentLife.com for info about our upcoming events.

New York Knicks: Bright Lights, Dim Championship Hopes

The Sixers were riding high on a six-game winning streak until last week’s loss to the Knicks. Many feel like the Knicks brought Philly back to reality when they outscored them 24-15 in the first quarter. But the reality is the Knicks showed their true colors. Entertaining team to watch? YES. NBA championship contender. NOT EVEN CLOSE.

You would think that the Knicks would be one of the favorites to come out of the Eastern Conference. They have one of the top NBA performers in Carmelo Anthony, perennial all-star Amare’ Staudamire and recently acquired Tyson Chandler, who was a key contributor to the Mavs championship run last season. But these individual talents just don’t seem to mesh. Despite being the team’s starting power forward, Amare Staudamire doesn’t rebound better than an average guard. I understand that a history of knee injuries makes it difficult to sky the rim for boards, but if Elton Brand can do it-- no one other than Greg Oden has an excuse. Amare is not the only guy on the team who should receive the blame for a dismal 6-5 start. Who would have ever thought that Carmelo’s calm, cool and collective demeanor would also be his weakness? Sure he nailed jump shot after jump shot on Iguadala in the second half Wednesday night, but it took a trash talking session and a double technical for him to get into the game. His lack of intensity on a nightly basis, along with the inability to play defense almost cancels out the tremendous scoring ability that he possesses. In fact, Tyson Chandler seems to be the only guy on the roster who can spell the word defense. Sure he will end up being one of the league leaders in blocked shots, but that’s only because of the amount of help defense he will be forced to provide.

Generally these are the types of issues that are solved by the leadership of a head coach. Most good teams are orchestrated by a guy who can tell the star that he needs to step it up. They have a leader at the helm who preaches defense during timeouts. While most teams have someone on the bench who is looking to take their game to the next level, the Knicks have Mike D’Antoni on the sideline refusing to change his ways for the sake of improvement. D’Antoni is convinced that the run and gun offense is the way to go. Don’t get me wrong, some teams like the Suns and most recently the Clippers have garnered some success playing that style of basketball. There is just one thing that separates those two teams from the Knicks however; they have a point guard! With Baron Davis out of action until at least the end of January, the Knicks have been starting rookie Iman Shumpert. Sorry D’Antoni but it is neither fair nor rational to expect a rookie picked 17th in the draft to play at the same level as a Steve Nash or Chris Paul.

So the Knicks may have stolen a victory over the Sixers last week. Spike Lee and his notorious courtside antics had the opportunity to enjoy his hometown team. Being the great director he is, Spike should be able to envision the Sixers and his Knicks meeting up in the first round of the Eastern Conference playoffs as a 4 seed vs. 5 seed matchup. He should also realize that last week’s game was a few Sixers baskets away from being a New York tragedy. And if the Knicks don’t commit to defense, step up the intensity and hire a real coach then I don’t see this story ending happily ever after for Spike Lee or any other Knicks fan.

Piss on Week 1.8.12

Warning!! No one in the following post is actually being pissed on. It is simply an expression meant to describe how outrageous and unforgivable the actions of the following people really are. Anyone who finds this segment offensive automatically gives me the right and the duty to piss on them as well.

Sincerely,

Professional Rationalist

10. New Year’s Resolutions


I’ve decided to start the first Piss On of 2012 by “wetting up" anyone who thinks that they needed to wait until January 1st to shed a few pounds or save more money

They get pissed on right along with their so-called New Year’s Resolutions.

9. Jordan XI Concord Hype


I love sneaks. I’ve got more pairs than I care to count and I was looking forward to adding the Concord Jordan XIs to my collection. But when I realized the hype, I was immediately turned off.

Anyone who waited in line for the Concords and didn’t know what they looked like until they opened the box gets pissed on for ruining a good shoe for true sneaker heads.

8.Vince Young


So the Eagles are not in the playoffs and I need someone to blame it on. I could turn to Andy Reid for making the same old coaching mistakes. I could point the finger at Vick for not protecting his body. Instead, I think I’ll turn my attention to backup QB Vince Young.

He gets pissed on for jinxing the squad by referring to the Eagles as the “Dream Team” before the season started.

7. Drake


I’m as much of an Aaliyah fan as the next guy, but I could never get a tattoo in honor of a woman I didn’t know.

Can’t say the same about Drake who gets pissed on for inking Aaliyah’s likeness on his back.


6. Mike Milbury


The former Boston Bruin coach grabbed, shook and threatened a 12 year old boy who got into a fight with his own son. I understand sticking up for your kids, but man did he take it too far.

Mike Milbury gets pissed on for not fighting someone his own size.

5. Riverhead High School


When you think about the things you can get suspended for doing in a high school hallway, what comes to mind? Chewing gum. Fighting. Even Running. But taking a knee to Tebow should not be one of them.

Riverhead High school gets pissed on for being the most hype hall monitors of all-time.

4. Canibus


Say it ain’t so! Vintage hip-hop artist Cannibus has a diss record aimed at J. Cole. Apparently Cannibus feels as though J. Cole is disrespecting him by talking about old-school Cannibus when he has new music out. (Did you know Cannibus had new songs?)

Cannibus gets pissed on for not being grateful that someone is even mentioning his name in 2012.

3. Karel Abelovsky


This fool stuffed 247 reptiles into a suitcase and tried to sneak them onto a plane.

Needless to say, he gets pissed on for making the following statement too real.


2. Lebron James


Women around the country are ecstatic that LeBron James finally proposed to his long time girlfriend and mother of his two kids. I don’t know if they would have as many good things to say about him if they saw the pants that he proposed in.

I know they call him the King and all, but LeBron James gets pissed on for wearing pants that make me want to say “King Me.”

1.Inappropriately Dressed People


The other day I went to play ball and a guy was playing in jeans and a polo shirt. I went to an upscale party and someone decided to where sweatpants. I’m in Church and this chick has on a “freak-um” dress. For crying out loud people can we dress appropriately?

Anyone who knows the dress code for an event, and manages to completely ignore it gets pissed on for being the elephant in the room.