The Air Jordan 1 is a classic shoe that was originally released during the 1985 basketball season. Due to its success over the years, Nike/Jordan has re-released the shoe for young sneaker enthusiasts to purchase. I used to be cool with that until this year. I have seen this shoe in every color, size, and material possible. Therefore I am pissing on Brand Jordan for running this sneaker into the ground.
9. McDonald’s Victim
I’ve been irate at the drive thru window because they put cheese on my burger. I have yelled a bit because my fries were cold. Even screamed at a manager for not letting me order off the Value Menu after 12 AM. Never have I felt the need to make a 911 call. This fool gets the business for calling 911 over $8.00.
8. Lil Wayne
Just when you think I ran out of urine for this idiot, he gives me another opportunity that I just can’t pass up. During the BET Awards he performed his hit song about sexing every girl in the world. He gets pissed on for thinking it was acceptable to do this song while his 12 year old daughter and her friends paraded around the stage. He should have just invited R. Kelly on stage for crying out loud.
7. CFL and Arland Bruce
I’m not pissing on the CFL for being a football league that no one cares about. This is a lot deeper than that. They get the business for fining Arland Bruce for paying homage to Michael Jackson with his touchdown dance. However, Arland gets pissed on too for thinking that playing dead was an appropriate tribute.
P.S. Arland, a Moonwalk across the end zone would have been ideal.
6. Lady Gaga
The newest Pop sensation is a sham; I’m just mad that no one else is aware. I am pissing on her and all her fans for thinking that a blonde wig makes her a legit artist.
5. Ghostly Toilet Paper
Pictured above are rolls of Japanese toilet paper with ghost stories inscribed on every sheet.
This invention gets this business for assuming that I literally want to be scarred shitless.
4. A Friend of Mine
A friend of mine who was born and raised in Philadelphia jus revealed that she didn’t know that Charles Barkley played for the Philadelphia 76ers. It’s normally not a piss-able offense for a woman to not know the star of a basketball team from when she was five.
But when that star happens to be my favorite player of all-time, I have no choice but to piss on a certain individual.
3. Texas Police
These jerks pepper sprayed and tasered a 42-year-old pastor at his Church over a traffic stop.
These cops are going to burn in hell one day, but in the meantime I am going to take the liberty to piss on them.
2. Star Spangled Face
This broad got 56 stars tatted on her face.
She gets pissed on for not realizing that the moment the ink touched her skin she decided that she wasn’t going to do anything meaningful the rest of your life.
1.Gary Barbera
Just when you thought that things couldn’t get anymore ignorant I came across a commercial for the car dealership Gary Barbera. They have an imitation Barack Obama (pictured above) selling used cars.
Good ‘ole Gary gets pissed on for thinking that all black people look alike. The shake before the zip goes to the young brother who accepted this role.
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