Piss on Week 11.8.10

Warning!! No one in the following blog post is actually being pissed on. It is simply an expression meant to discribe how outrageous and unforgiveable the actions of the following people really are. Anyone who fines this segment offensive has the right and the duty to be pissed on as well.

Sinceely,

Professional Rationalist


10. Dallas Cowboys

All that money they spent and they can’t manage to put a talented team on the field.

Pissed on!

9. Biggs


Jay-Z’s former Roc-a-Fella business partner Kareem “Biggs” Burke was arrested for his involvement in a drug ring in which authorities confiscated over $1 million in drug money. He gets pissed on for worrying about illegal hustles when he had executive producer credits on just about every Jay-Z album.

8. Kevin Garnett

Last week Detroit Pistons player Charlie Villanueva alleged that Kevin Garnett said he looks like a cancer patient during the game.

I could piss on KG for being an insensitive jerk. Instead I’m going to piss on him for his lame excuse: ”I said he’s a cancer to his team.”


7. Steve Harvey
I’m not pissing on Steve Harvey for being loud and obnoxious. Or for the hair piece he wore for years that we thought was the greatest shape up ever.

But I will give him the business for being the worst Family Feud host. Don’t believe me? Watch this!


6. MC Hammer
Hammer is upset that Jay-Z made a reference to him going bankrupt in a new song. So upset that he came back with a diss of his own.

Hammer gets pissed on for refusing to just sit down and enjoy old age.




5. For Colored Girls


I don’t know much about this film, but I know that everyone that has seen it was in a melancholy mood afterward.

I think I’m going to piss on it before I shed a tear as well.


4. Adidas

Adidas has a campaign called “Route 2015" that will supposedly make them bigger than Nike.

They get pissed on for coming up with such a ridiculous plan without an endorsement deal with anyone half as popular as Kobe Bryant, LeBron James, or Derek Jeter.

3. NFL Gloves

Have you taken a close look at these things? The grip is made of a mix of Spider Man’s web and hot tar. No wonder the players catch every pass.

I think I will add to the ingredients by putting urination to the mix.


2. Sony


Did you know that Sony decided to cease production of the cassette player on October 25th, 2010?

They get pissed on for not doing it the day that the iPod dropped.

1. SHAQ

Shaquille O’Neal dressed in drag for Halloween.

He gets the #1 spot on this week’s urination for being way too comfortable as a woman and knowing all the word’s to this Beyonce song.