Piss on Week 2.1.11

Warning!! No one in the following post is actually being pissed on. It is simply an expression meant to describe how outrageous and unforgivable the actions of the following people really are. Anyone who finds this segment offensive automatically gives me the right and the duty to piss on them as well.



Sincerely,



Professional Rationalist



10. Super Bowl Parking

Imagine you pay $3,000 for a ticket to this year’s Super Bowl. Then you turn around and get hit with a $900 charge to park.



Super Bowl parking gets pissed on for being more than a car note.



9. Herschel Walker





The former Eagles running back, who hasn’t played football since 1997, thinks he can make a return to the NFL at age 48.



He gets pissed on for worrying about coming out of NFL retirement when he should be reading brochures on retirement homes.



8. Regular Oreos





Why do I need a chocolate cookie with a thin slice of vanilla when I can get the double stuffed? Regular Oreos get pissed on for charging me the same price for less.



7. Winter White





White should be worn from April through Labor Day. That’s It! People are trying to wear this so-called winter white as if it’s something different.





They get pissed on for calling it winter white when they know damn well it’s a summer outfit they brought on sale from Macy’s in December.





6. Robert Burton





University of Connecticut alum gave the school $3 million dollars to build a new football facility. Now he wants it back because he wasn’t consulted when it came time to hire a new football coach.



He gets “wet up” for thinking that a $3 million donation was going to make the school become Robert Burton University.





5. Automated Systems





I called the customer service line for my credit card yesterday and all I wanted to do was speak with a representative. Too bad the automated system gave me every option but that. No, I don’t want to check my balance. No, I do not want to open a new account.



I just want to piss on automated systems for making an easy conversation so difficult.





4. Webb Chevrolet





This car dealership in Chicago fired one of their salesmen because he wore a Green Bay Packers This Chevy dealer gets the business for being a sore looser.



3. A-Team





The 80’s TV show was a gun slinging classic. There was just one problem... No one every got shot. All of that heavy artillery and no one gets as much as a scratch on them. I pity the fool that doesn’t agree that the A-Team should be pissed on for having poor aim after watching this video.



2. Tracy Morgan

Tracy Morgan’s humor has always been a bit strange, but this time he went too far. The former SNL funny man gets pissed on this week for voicing his choice of masturbation material during an NBA pre-game show.

1. Valerie Joyce Wilson Turks

This deranged woman is suing Diddy for $900 billion . No it’s not for corneal damage that occurred during the shiny suit era. She is not claiming to have invented the remix. Valerie is more concerned with Diddy’s involvement in the destruction of the World Trade Center. This nut job is claiming that Puff conspired with Kim Porter in the terroristic attacks that occurred on 9-11.



She gets pissed on for getting Diddy confused with Osama Bin Laden.