The Comfort Zone

CAUTION: My articles are generalized and not meant for any particular or specific situation. Taking my well thought out opinions personally may cause anger, sadness, loss of sleep, or bitterness.

Results may vary!

First, I would like to apologize for my hiatus. I am sorry to admit I abandoned my blog but I am back with a great article for 31percentlife and you the followers.

I personally like this post because it is something that everyone, no matter his or her gender, can relate to. In some relationships one partner may constantly feel like his or her position is in danger; either someone is coming after that person’s spot, or the significant other is trying to replace them. On the other hand, a mate could feel like his or her position is so safe, they cease to work for the relationship. This issue is one that needs to be addressed, because I am sure we have all had this experienced, either first hand or vicariously. I want to talk about two extremes: insecurity and being comfortable.

Insecurity is an extreme that seems more familiar to most people. One sign of being insecure is constantly accusing your significant other of being involved with another. A second sign, which I think is worse than the first, is approaching a person who you think is pursuing your partner (only time this is acceptable if you are sure they are in pursuit and you’re mate is bothered by it). These signs are indicators that you do not feel secure in either one of two departments 1) your ability to satisfy your partner or 2) your partner’s ability to be faithful.
Comfortable, the other extreme, occurs often. A sign of being too comfortable is being so sure that your mate won’t leave that you actually put in minimum effort, sometimes no effort at all. Another sign is either believing your mate is so naïve that they don’t notice or they are so in love that they don’t care. Being too comfortable usually leads to a rude awakening that your partner is not willing to withstand the lack of effort you are putting in and another more deserving person is willing to work harder than you. Someone is always fighting for your spot, whether you notice it or not.

In all things in life, you should aim for moderation, and relationships are no different. In this case, moderation is security. Being secure is when you are confident that you are doing everything in your power to make your mate happy and make the relationship work. There should be no worries if others pursue your mate because you know you are doing your job right. It is not being comfortable because not only do you know your mate is happy, you will reinforce it, to be sure. Remember, if you are confident with what you are doing in the relationship, you are sure that everything you are doing is the best you can do, and your partner still is not happy, then maybe it’s just not meant to be, but that is a story for another post.

Never be on either extremes, have a middle ground.

We all have insecure moments where we get a little jealous, it’s natural, but never let it control your actions or your relationship.

Back For Good,

Fred E. Cornbread

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