Sincerely,
Professional Rationalist
10. New Yorkers
Whenever I’m searching for something to piss on, New Yorkers always come through in the clutch. This time they are eating cheese made of breast milk.
Being old enough to vote and consuming breast milk is always a piss-worthy offense.
9. Donald Trump
This guy is trying harder than ever to put his name in the race for the next U.S. President. He talked some much sh*t about Barack Obama producing his birth certificate. He should have been checking his own facts. Turns out Donald Trump hasn’t voted since 1989.
He gets pissed on for wanting someone to cast a ballot for him when he hasn’t voted since the first season of the Simpsons.
8. Chrissy
I don’t know if you’ve had a chance to watch VH1 reality show “Love and Hip Hop” but I have and it’s terrible. I started to feel bad for these women until the chick Chrissy proposed to her boyfriend Jim Jones.
Hey Chrissy, if you have to ask a man to marry you and his response is, “I got you”, not only are you not engaged but you’re pissed on for being naïve.
7. Philly Schools
I know what you’re thinking. The School District again? Hell Yes!!
Any school district that cuts 1,260 teaching jobs when their biggest problem is the fact that they don’t have enough teachers to go around deserves to get “wet up.”
6. Charlie Bell
I know you’re probably wondering why NBA player Charlie Bell is getting pissed on seeing as though it was his wife who allegedly attacked him with a box cutter. It’s very simple..She didn’t become crazy overnight and I have no sympathy for people who deal with straight up weirdos.
Charlie Bell gets pissed on for not seeing that his girl had the potential to be crazy after she put this video on Youtube.
5. DEA ‘Drug Take-Back Day’
The DEA has managed to orchestrate a nationwide program where people can turn in expired or unused prescription drugs to avoid the improper use by teenagers. It sounds like a very good idea that is similar to the well known ‘Guns for Good’ programs. The only problem I see is that when I turn in a gun I get a gift card for groceries. And what do I get when I fork over an old prescription of Percocet? Not a Damn Thing!
The DEA’s program gets pissed on for rewarding me with a “Thanks for coming out.” At least let me get a free loaf of bread.
4. Hot Rod
Sure I was excited to hear that after ten years of searching, the military was able to finally capture Osama Bin Laden. I even gave out a USA chant while watching the Phillies game. But at no point in time did I think about creating a dance song.
50 Cent’s artist Hot Rod gets pissed on for thinking that people really want to get jiggy to this.
3. Employees Must Wash Hands
I think it’s cool that restaurants make it mandatory for employees to wash their hands when they are done in the bathroom. However the verbiage can be a bit misleading. Employees must wash hands is insinuating that it is optional for everyone else to do so.
Any sign that makes washing your hands after pissing optional has to be pissed on!
2. Patenema Ouedraogo
This guy was recently arrested for being your typical celebrity stalker. He has a thing for Serena Williams and doesn’t know how to control himself. He showed up at her house. Followed her to a meeting with an agent. He even convinced security for the Home Shopping Network that he was her assistant and was granted access to Serena’s dressing room.
Sure he gets an A plus for effort, but he "pissed the line" a letter to singer/actor Tyrese asking for the hook up with Serena.
Hey man, Tyrese played Baby Boy...not Baby Jesus.
1. Bartendaz
Nobody does a better job of turning their everyday surroundings into a gym than the New York-based group known as the Bartendaz. Take a look at these guys going ape-sh*t.
It’s cool that they are getting their work out on in the jungle gym, but there’s just one problem. Where in the hell are the kids supposed to play?
Bartendaz get pissed on for being grown ass bullies on the playground.
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