Piss on Week 2.17.11

Warning!! No one in the following post is actually being pissed on. It is simply an expression meant to describe how outrageous and unforgivable the actions of the following people really are. Anyone who finds this segment offensive automatically gives me the right and the duty to piss on them as well.

Sincerely,

Professional Rationalist


10. Jaden Smith


Will Smith needs to have a talk with his movie star son.This little boy is starting to get out of hand already.

Jaden Smith gets pissed on for stealing his little sister’s leopard pants and wearing them to the Grammys.

9. Mark Buehrle


It’s one thing to dislike Michael Vick for his dog fighting past. It’s another thing to wish that he gets injured while playing football. That’s what Chicago White Sox pitcher Mark Buehrle was doing when Vick took snaps this past season.


Pissed on for crossing his fingers and praying for a torn ACL during Eagles games.

8. Milton Street


Most guys who are released from prison after doing a 26 month bid want to go shopping, have a good meal and spend some time with their lady friend. Milton Street however is not most people.

He gets pissed on for planning to run for mayor before he even saw his parole officer.

7. Cee-Lo


So is Cee-Lo going to make this list every time there is an award show?

Eccentric music artist Cee-Lo gets the business for dressing like Tucan Sam for the Grammys this year.


6. Gilbert Arenas


Perhaps I should be pissing on myself for missing this when it first occurred, but did Gilbert Arenas really wear Dolce and Gabbana sneaks in a NBA game?!?

Gilbert gets pissed on for trying too hard to bring fashion to the hardwood. What’s next? Gucci warmups?

5. Joe Estevez


While Charlie Sheen was admitting himself to a rehab center, his uncle Joe was trying to get a gig. Joe Estevez contacted the producers of “Two and a Half Men” to see if he could replace his nephew on the show while he got clean.

Joe Estevez gets “wet up” for thinking that he could ease his way into show bizz just like the second mom on Fresh Prince.

4. Range Rover


I’ve admired the Range Rover since I was a kid. The problem is the body style of the luxury vehicle has only changed once since I’ve hit puberty.

The Range Rover gets pissed on for its lack of exterior upgrades over the years.

3. DeMarcus Cousins


Just half way through his NBA rookie season, DeMarcus Cousins has had a verbal confrontation with a trainer, was tossed out of practice by the head coach and now he’s been fined for starting an altercation in the locker room after a loss.

Cousins get pissed on for making Ron Artest and Dennis Rodman look like angels.

2. Infomercials


Whenever I have trouble sleeping through the night, I turn on the TV to see if anything good is on. Not only am I disappointed, but I get caught up watching a terrible infomercial selling me something I don’t need.

I’m pissing on infomercials for thinking I have the need to buy “Get Rich Quick” DVD’s at 3:00AM.

1. Michael Jordan


Even the greatest basketball player of all time can’t avoid the rath of being pissed on.

Jordan gets “wet up” for thinking that just because his sneakers are still popular after 20 years, that hoop earring could stand the test of time as well.