Piss on Week 3.1.11

Warning!! No one in the following post is actually being pissed on. It is simply an expression meant to describe how outrageous and unforgivable the actions of the following people really are. Anyone who finds this segment offensive automatically gives me the right and the duty to piss on them as well.

10. Carmelo Anthony

I’m not pissing on Melo’ for being traded to the Knicks; I just have a question. How is it that he was from Baltimore in this 2007 video?

And all of a sudden he’s a native New Yorker?

Melo gets pissed on for changing his home for his own convenience.

9. Philadelphia School District

On February 22nd the city of Philadelphia received a light coating of snow. It wasn’t enough precipitation to shovel, but for some reason it was enough to close all public schools in Philadelphia.

The Philadelphia School District gets pissed on for shutting down whenever someone mentions the word snow.

8. “Do you want some…before I throw it out?”


I seriously can’t stand the notion of offering someone something to eat that you wouldn’t consume yourself. How are you going to offer me something to digest when its alternative is the dumpster? Is that supposed to make it appear to be appetizing?

People who provide such an offer get pissed on for thinking that after mentioning the mold growing on the bun, I want half a Big Mac that has been sitting on the table for an hour

7. QuickStrips Condoms

As if condoms aren’t already the simplest things to use in the first place, a company by the name of Sensis has created a condom that has tabs to help you put it on.

Because common sense, the instructions on the box, and the help of a partner isn’t enough to get a condom on, I’m pissing on anyone who needs the tabs to get busy.

6. Kardashians

The reality show family is the official sponsor of Sketchers Sneakers.

These sneakers are so hideous that I have to piss on anyone who tries to convince people that they are worth buying.

5. The Switcheroo


Have you ever gone to a bar and ordered a Ciroc and cranberry and thought to yourself “this doesn’t taste right?” That’s because the premium vodka was probably replaced with bottom shelf trash!

I’m pissing on any bar/club that charges you twelve bucks for a drink made from a ten dollar bottle.

4. Eric Snow


Everyone has dosed off at work before. But when you only work three hours a day it is unacceptable.

When that job is being the commentator of a Sixers’ game live on national television it becomes piss-worthy.

Eric Snow gets pissed on for trying to take a quick nap during a stop in play.

3. Martin Lawrence

“Big Mamma’s House” was cool.” Big Mamma’s House 2” was acceptable. “Big Mamma’s House 3: Like Father, Like Son” is downright piss-worthy.


Martin gets pissed on for not knowing when to call it quits on a comedy that wasn’t all that funny in the first place.

2. Young Reek

I’m not pissing on Young Reek for being a terrible rapper. He does get the business considering he raps about killing people and selling drugs one minute, and decides to be a Philadelphia police officer the next.

He gets “wet up” for being more of a fraud than Rick Ross.

1. Check Us Out!


Check out the new “31 Percent” fan page on Facebook and hit the “Like” button.

It’s so easy to do that anyone who doesn’t click here will be pissed on.