CAUTION: My articles are generalized and not meant for any particular or specific situation. Taking my well thought-out opinions personally, may cause anger, sadness, loss of sleep, or bitterness.
Results may vary!
The other day a friend of mine asked me a question that really made me think. She wanted to know why men cheat when they have women that are the closest thing to perfect. I first responded to her with the obvious reasons: greed, a desire to be with as many women as possible (“pimps”), and just being an asshole who doesn’t care about women and thinks of them as objects (womanizers). Then I started to go into detail about factors that a lot of people don’t look at. For example, the fact that all guys that cheat are NOT necessarily driven by malice or bad intentions.
All guys that cheat are not assholes. Some guys are just confused and unsure of what they want where others are just inconsiderate. Not to say they are uncaring, they just don’t see that their actions have consequences until after the fact. For these guys, there are two likely reasons for their infidelity: 1) the woman is good BUT not right for them or 2) the woman is the right one at the wrong time.
The first reason is a little complex. In my opinion, rapper J. Cole said the first reason pretty well: “One thing for certain baby, you are a wifey, two things for f*cking sure I am not the husband though.” I condone this quote because he’s letting a woman know that she is great and can make some lucky man very happy. On the other hand, he knows that he is not that man. I’m sure we all know at least one female who we are sure would make a great girlfriend, wife, and or mother. But, does every potential wife have to be YOUR wife? A large number of guys feel that when they meet a great girl they must establish a committed relationship because of fear of missing out on someone great. What they neglect to realize is that just because she is great does not assure you will have a successful romantic relationship with her.
At this point that guy starts to realize that he isn’t actually emotionally attracted to this woman, he only likes the idea of her being with him. In other words, he is following his mind and not his heart. Slowly the little emotion he has goes away, and he loses the motivation for commitment. It’s like a kid in the supermarket who keeps begging his mom for the new ice cream flavor. Sure, super duper extra chocolate ice cream SOUNDS delicious, but after that first try you’re over it and ready to move on to the next flavor. The only difference is, with the ice cream, you’ll stop eating it, but you won’t stop “eating” this woman (no pun intended). You still don’t want to let her go for whatever reason. Maybe you still want her around because she treats you well or maybe she is attached and you do not want to hurt her. Either way, this can result in infidelity.
The second reason is less complicated to explain. Basically, a guy might find the woman that he wants to spend the rest of his life with, but just at a time when he is not ready to settle down. Let’s say a guy finds his during his first or second year of college. At that time he’s only about 18 or 20. The bachelor years for a male are generally 21 to 24, not saying that there are not bachelors who are much older, I’m just speaking of the typical age. If a guy is 19, he doesn’t expect for her to wait until he is twenty five to get “the single life” out of his system. So, instead of making her wait, he commits, but he will still have the bachelor mentality. Therefore, without considering the consequences or the feelings of his spouse, he cheats. He is not going to break up with her because she is the person he wants to be with for the rest of his life. His problem is, he wants to have his cake and eat it too, which is virtually impossible.
I’m not justifying men cheating, or saying its okay, but there is a reason for everything. I’m just clarifying some likely reasons. So, my advice to you, make sure that when you commit, that’s exactly what you are going to do COMMIT! If you’re unsure, don’t be afraid to test the waters, date and just keep things casual. If you think she is “perfect”, be thoughtful of her feelings, because like I said earlier, she might not be YOUR future wife, she is still somebody else’s.
With Love,
Fred E. Cornbread
P.S. Please leave a comment so we know your opinion on the matter. It is very much appreciated. Follow on Twitter @FredE_Cornbread @31percent
Tidak ada komentar:
Posting Komentar