Move the Crowd: Raps' Top Hype Men

“The District” prides himself on his adlib capabilities when his favorite songs are in rotation. I must admit, he can play hype man with the best of them. I don’t know if he can get it rockin’ like the crowd in the picture above, but this got me to thinking...Who are the best? Take a look at my list of top hype men in rap.

Spliff Star


Did you know that Spliff Star was once an artist on Flipmode Records? He turned in his dreams of a successful solo career and has been rocking the mic alongside Busta Rhymes since 1996.

Memphis Bleek


Sure he had a few solo albums, but let’s be serious. The only time you have seen Memphis Bleek on stage in the 2000’s has been to help out childhood pal Jay-Z. He is one of the few hype men however, who can say that he had number one hits of his own.

Diddy


Find me a Badboy track that doesn’t have Diddy’s signature adlibs in the background. He makes sure you know what record label you’re listening to. Whether he’s hyping up Peach Ciroc in the club or one of hip-hop's top artist on stage, Diddy is one of the best. You can’t even imagine a Biggie song like “Big Poppa” without him on the track.

Flavor Flav


The OG of hype men is more than just a reality TV star who wears obnoxiously large clocks around his neck. His stage presence complimented Chuck D’s militant lyrics in an unusual pairing, and made Public Enemy a legendary rap group.

Who’s Your Favorite?


I’ve told you who I think are the best. Who do you think does the best job of adding something extra to a song? Is there anyone that I missed? Is Diddy overrated? Feel free to let me know in the comments section.

Swift Change of Opinion of Rappers

Hold up a darn minute. Did we all miss the memo? Didn't Taylor Swift get punked by a rapper and then swear off RAPPERS? At least that's what I assumed. Turns out she got turned out by a rapper. I guess once you go rap you never go back. While on tour Ms. Swift has had a rapper or two join her on stage to perform once of their hits. What's next for Taylor? Tattoo's and bong rips?

The R&B in Me

Some people may not know this, but I am a huge fan of R&B music. Yeah Jay-Z and Biggie are classics, but sometimes it’s necessary to slow things down a bit. The characteristic of R&B that I feel is the most important is the artist’s ability to express himself.

R&B artists can utilize vivid wordplay for subjects not often suitable for hard-core rap lyrics. Some singers, such as Jaheim, fail to take advantage of this luxury as they croon about “the block” and “rolling up.” They leave you wondering, “Why didn’t I just listen to Beanie Sigel if all you were going to do was sing me rap bars?”

Needless to say, it’s always refreshing to hear someone do it right. Recently, I’ve come across a new artist by the name of Tony T from DC who does just that. Listen for yourself and I’m sure you will agree.

Piss on Week 10.22.11

10. Sean Paul


I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. No one over the age of 7 should have a Mohawk.

Mr. “Just Gimmie the Light” gets the business for being another example of “When Trying to Remain Young Goes Wrong"

9. Cantaloupe


Anyone that knows me well knows that I love fruit. This is why it pains me so much to have to piss on cantaloupes. However, anytime a fruit is responsible for the death of 21 people, something has to be done.

Sure a recall of cantaloupes might seem sufficient, but I’m pissing on the contaminated produce for changing the consistency of my fruit salads.

8. Potheads


No, I’m not talking about people that smoke weed all the time. I’m referring to the new candy that is shaped like a marijuana plant.

Potheads get pissed on for being the first candy considered a gateway drug. Lol

7. XXX-mail


So I know someone who finds it necessary to forward emails of naked women at least once a week. It’s gotten so bad that I’ve set my e-mail account to mark anything coming from him as Spam. What makes these naked pics so important that you need to copy 15 people in your erotic emails? I know where the naked chicks are on the world-wide web- if I want to see them, I’ll go there.

So unless your sending me a Rihanna and Nicki Minaj sex tape featuring Kim Kardashian, people like this guy get pissed on for trying to spark a XXX e-mail chain.

6. NBA Lockout


Seriously guys! It was all fun and games when training camp was canceled, but now you are interfering with the regular season. The first two weeks of the season have already been canceled and who knows what’s coming next.

The powers that be in the NBA get pissed on this week for forcing me to play video games to get some NBA action this year.

5. Marshall Junior High School


The assistant principal of this school used a black Sharpie to fill in a part that a student had shaved into his head. According to the school, the small part was in direct violation of the dress code.



I couldn’t tell you if the part violated the dress code, but the school does get pissed on for using a poor kid’s head as a whiteboard.

4. Cat Lovers


This one may be biased because I truly hate cats. But don’t you think there’s something creepy about a person who has 5 cats in a two bedroom home? Or the chick that carries photos of “Fluffy” in her wallet? Hey if four-legged felines are your thing, by all means go ahead.

But when cats have you going bonkers like this Villanova grad, you get pissed on for being out of your mind.



3. Amish Roundup


The Amish are a very simple people- which is why I couldn’t wait to find out what they could have possibly gotten locked up for when I saw this story. Turns out they refused to display safety signs on the back of their buggies.


Anyone who has nothing better to do than worry about Amish buggies passing vehicle inspections needs to be pissed on.

2. Doc Gooden’s “Dr. Feel Good”


In 1986, the New York Mets were the World Champions of Major League Baseball. And do you know where their star pitcher was during their parade? He was high on drugs at his pusher’s house in the projects. I can’t piss on Doc Gooden for having a drug problem. (I wish him the best in his journey to recovery)…

But I can piss on the drug dealer who didn’t have the common courtesy to give Doc a wakeup call.

1. Linda Ann Weston


This chick held mentally handicapped people hostage and turned her basement into a dungeon. And it was all a social security scam! I know times are hard, but this lady took it too far.

She gets pissed on for trying to film the latest “Saw” flick in her basement.

Kids do the Darnest Things

Beyonce made it clear that "Girls run the world." Michelle Obama continues to change the worlds weight issues through her fight against childhood obesity. Neither of these powerful women have Nicki Minaj beat. She has little people performing her songs with a passion that Harriet Tubman, Rosa Parks, and Betsy Ross would be proud of. GIRL POWER!

What's Your Favorite Candy?

My younger cousin is a sour patch kids addict. I have a sneaky suspension that the women of his dreams will recite her winning vows, and then have her bridesmaids shower him with sour patch kids. Trust me people: he would then breakdown into tears. Hell when he sees this video, he will breakdown in tears. I hope he remembers that real men cry...SOMETIMES!

Life: Hate Paints an Ugly Picture

This past weekend I attended an event with the rest of 31 Percent at an art gallery in the city. I was extremely impressed by how the night began. There was a great décor, drinks and appetizers, not to mention, the artwork was mind-blowing. To add to my delight, everything was free of charge. The room was filled with intelligent people who have achieved varying degrees of success in their careers. As the evening began, I was under the impression that the pastel paintings on the walls would be the only artwork on display. As it turned out, I got to witness first-hand the dark images that drape the canvas of “HATE.”

“Her hair is a mess.” “Look at those shoes.” “They don’t even have Ciroc here.” “Why is he so short?” These are just a few of the statements I overheard coming from a group of women. They huddled in the corner, Mascato in hand, dishing out criticism of everyone who entered the gallery. They sat with scowls on their faces, scrutinizing patrons, as if they were judges on an Olympic committee. As I watched these women give out no score higher than a four, I had so many questions. Who died and made them art gallery critics? Are they really upset that this guy is only 5’6? Who gets mad at a free event? Most importantly, why must I constantly encounter people like this? Only one word could answer my series of questions...HATE!

Some people hate that you have a better job than them. They despise the fact that you have a nice car. They are peeved that you went on a date with some girl they went to high school with ten years ago! This hate is then coupled with childish behavior. The rolling of the eyes, the sucking of the teeth and the always-present gossiping. Although unnecessary in my eyes, some people view these acts as part of their daily regimen.

The question remains, why? Why spend your time on negativity? Instead of being envious of someone else’s possessions, you should ask what they did to achieve success. Instead of being angry at another woman for dating “the man of your dreams,” you should realize that there are 20 other individuals in the room who could be “the man of your reality.” There is so much scrutinizing taking place, but people often fail to do the criticizing where it matters the most...WITHIN!

If someone isn’t happy with the current state of their lifestyle, it’s no one’s responsibility to change things but their own. Figure out what you want and get it! Get to the point in your life where you have more important things to do than snicker at someone who has on last year’s Polo. Because quite frankly, Hate Paints an Ugly Picture.

Piss on Week 10.9.11

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Living in a Lockout

As we the fans prepare ourselves for an NBA lockout, take a look at how some of your favorite players are keeping busy...

10. Dancing


As if changing his name to “Metta World Peace” wasn’t enough, Ron Artest tried his luck on “Dancing with the Stars.” I don’t know what’s more impressive, the fact that he has a few moves or the fact that he was able to perfectly imitate Hulk Hogan’s mustache.



9. Job Hunting


What does the NBA millionaire, who was arrested for riding a motorcycle while concealing a gun inside of a pool stick case, do when he does not have a job? How about apply for a full time gig at a furniture store. Watch out college kids because Delonte West is on the prowl and looking to steal your job.

8. Spiking


Kevin Love is a California native. So, what else would you expect him to do during the lockout besides pick up volleyball? Kev competed, well if you can even call it that, in the Manhattan Beach Open this past August.

7. Coaching


Luke Walton, or should I say Coach, has decided to take his talents to Memphis. The LA Laker has decided to take an assistant coaching position with the University of Memphis basketball team until the lockout ends.

6. Planking


Gilbert Arenas and Dwight Howard must be staging some type of protest. The NBA will forfeit a season over their planking bodies.

5. Kickin’ It


We knew Kobe grew up in Italy and speaks fluent Italian, but I didn’t know he had a penalty kick in him as well?



4. Bluffing


“Celtic Pride” Paul Pierce played his cards right and made it deep into the World Series of Poker in Las Vegas. Let’s just hope he’s betting on the NBA resuming play this year.

3. Blazin’


It’s not that most NBA players don’t already smoke the ganja. It’s just that Portland Trailblazer Marcus Camby got caught.

2. Ballin’


Some guys are “Doing the Right Thing” and using their down time to remain competitive. While some are playing overseas, the likes of Carmelo Anthony, LeBron James and Chris Paul recently played a Philly vs. Baltimore game for charity at the Palestra in Philadelphia.

1.Interning


What better way to spend your off season than interning at “Funny or Die” with Will Ferrell? That’s how NBA All-Star Blake Griffin is spending his time during the lockout. Who says a guy that dunks over a Kia can’t be funny? Check it out for yourself.

Lil' Blake from Blake Griffin