Piss on Week 1.8.12

Warning!! No one in the following post is actually being pissed on. It is simply an expression meant to describe how outrageous and unforgivable the actions of the following people really are. Anyone who finds this segment offensive automatically gives me the right and the duty to piss on them as well.

Sincerely,

Professional Rationalist

10. New Year’s Resolutions


I’ve decided to start the first Piss On of 2012 by “wetting up" anyone who thinks that they needed to wait until January 1st to shed a few pounds or save more money

They get pissed on right along with their so-called New Year’s Resolutions.

9. Jordan XI Concord Hype


I love sneaks. I’ve got more pairs than I care to count and I was looking forward to adding the Concord Jordan XIs to my collection. But when I realized the hype, I was immediately turned off.

Anyone who waited in line for the Concords and didn’t know what they looked like until they opened the box gets pissed on for ruining a good shoe for true sneaker heads.

8.Vince Young


So the Eagles are not in the playoffs and I need someone to blame it on. I could turn to Andy Reid for making the same old coaching mistakes. I could point the finger at Vick for not protecting his body. Instead, I think I’ll turn my attention to backup QB Vince Young.

He gets pissed on for jinxing the squad by referring to the Eagles as the “Dream Team” before the season started.

7. Drake


I’m as much of an Aaliyah fan as the next guy, but I could never get a tattoo in honor of a woman I didn’t know.

Can’t say the same about Drake who gets pissed on for inking Aaliyah’s likeness on his back.


6. Mike Milbury


The former Boston Bruin coach grabbed, shook and threatened a 12 year old boy who got into a fight with his own son. I understand sticking up for your kids, but man did he take it too far.

Mike Milbury gets pissed on for not fighting someone his own size.

5. Riverhead High School


When you think about the things you can get suspended for doing in a high school hallway, what comes to mind? Chewing gum. Fighting. Even Running. But taking a knee to Tebow should not be one of them.

Riverhead High school gets pissed on for being the most hype hall monitors of all-time.

4. Canibus


Say it ain’t so! Vintage hip-hop artist Cannibus has a diss record aimed at J. Cole. Apparently Cannibus feels as though J. Cole is disrespecting him by talking about old-school Cannibus when he has new music out. (Did you know Cannibus had new songs?)

Cannibus gets pissed on for not being grateful that someone is even mentioning his name in 2012.

3. Karel Abelovsky


This fool stuffed 247 reptiles into a suitcase and tried to sneak them onto a plane.

Needless to say, he gets pissed on for making the following statement too real.


2. Lebron James


Women around the country are ecstatic that LeBron James finally proposed to his long time girlfriend and mother of his two kids. I don’t know if they would have as many good things to say about him if they saw the pants that he proposed in.

I know they call him the King and all, but LeBron James gets pissed on for wearing pants that make me want to say “King Me.”

1.Inappropriately Dressed People


The other day I went to play ball and a guy was playing in jeans and a polo shirt. I went to an upscale party and someone decided to where sweatpants. I’m in Church and this chick has on a “freak-um” dress. For crying out loud people can we dress appropriately?

Anyone who knows the dress code for an event, and manages to completely ignore it gets pissed on for being the elephant in the room.