I know it’s been a minute, but I have decided to stop pissing in toilets and bring the urination back to where it belongs… the weekly “Piss On Segment” of 31 Percent!!!
9. Dick’s Sporting Goods
Dick’s Sporting Goods took a stand against animal cruelty this season and decided to not sell Michael Vick jerseys because he was convicted of dog fighting.
The sporting goods store gets pissed on for not taking the same stand against deer hunters. Can someone explain how the jersey of a man who served his time is wrong, but a shirt like this is perfectly acceptable.
8. Lamar Odom and Khloe Kardashian
It was bad enough when the LA Laker and reality TV star got married after dating for only a month.
It became piss worthy when they made the decision to have a baby during an interview.
I heard that they are renewing their vowels next month. LOL
7. Rapper Lockdown
Is it just me or have you realized that there is a new rapper in jail every other day. First Lil’ Lim, then T.I., now Lil’ Wayne is doing a bid.
Either police are targeting rappers under five feet tall or these rappers should be pissed on for poor decision making.
6. Swine Flu
Why am I pissing on H1NI!?!? Because I’m tired of reaching for the hand sanitizer every time I shake hands with someone.
5. Job Market
Do me a favor… go to CareerBuilder, Craigslist or Monster and look at all of the new jobs that are posted. Now call all of your friends that were unemployed in June and I bet you must of them are still sitting on the sofa watching Maury.
I’m pissing on companies for posting these phantom jobs that never seem to get filled.
4. Tufts University
College students across America are struggling to pay for school. Recreational drug usage on campus is at an all time high. Meanwhile Tufts University is worried about who’s sexing who on the top bunk.
This Massachusetts University gets pissed on for implementing a rule that bands students from having sex while their roommate is present in the room.
3. Carrie Prejean
The former Miss California felt that Larry King’s line of questioning was “inappropriate” during a recent interview.
She gets pissed on for thinking any question is “inappropriate” after news of her racy sex tapes (plural) hitting the internet.
2. Air Jordan 4 Heels
Boredom had me surfing the internet the other day and I came across a ridiculous website. Not only are they selling fake Jordan’s, but they have the nerve to create Jordan Heels.
I’m pissing on the feet of any woman that I catch wearing such a hideous shoe.
1. Tiger Woods
Tiger Woods put his marriage and his $500 million net worth on the line when his numerous affairs hit the fan. He gets the business for forgetting the number one rule about an affair… IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE A SECRET.
As the joke goes, Tiger gets the business for playing one too many holes.
Stay Tuned
I’m pissing on anybody that doesn’t keep checking 31percent.blogspot.com for the latest info, commentary, and hilarious thoughts that get you through your day.
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