DATING: What's in a Title?

CAUTION: My articles are generalized and not meant for any particular or specific situations. Taking my well thought out opinions personal may cause anger, sadness, loss of sleep, or bitterness.

Results may vary!

There are a few references to my “talking” post, so if you haven’t seen it or just need a reminder, I suggest you take a look before reading this, Please and Thank you!!: http://31percent.blogspot.com/2010/11/dating-we-are-jus-talkin.html

I've always had a weird feeling about the "titles" aspect of a relationship but I never have been able to pinpoint why. I’ve just known that I didn't like them. Recently, though, I finally figured out why.

I've never understood why people feel that adding a title to a relationship will change or intensify feelings. I feel as though people incorporate titles so they have a sense of control. There have been many times when I’ve heard a girl say "I would (insert sexual action here) with you if I didn't have a boyfriend. I always think, "So you want to, but your “boyfriend” is what is stopping you? If he didn’t have that title, would do it." The fact that you have feelings for your significant other is what should stop you from having any desire to do anything with someone else. Although I haven't been in an official relationship (by official I mean one with titles) I have been in "exclusive" situations with people and it works just as well, if not better, than a relationship with titles. I would say we were in Phase 3 of my “talkin” break down.

For that reason, I generally tell people that if they have the desire to mess around with someone, they should, and not because I encourage cheating but I DO discourage bullshit. So, if you want to be involved with someone else while you're in a relationship, your relationship must not be that satisfying and maybe you should continue to be single or just stay in Phase 2. Now, I know some of you are wondering, "So what do you expect us to do? Just sleep with people?" My answer is no, silly. What I want is that you all allow natural feelings to evolve; not feelings that are forced and tainted by these restrictions, leashes, that we call "titles." Just let feelings grow and IF and WHEN you feel that he/she is all you need and want that should be enough for the both of you, with a title or without one, your relationship won't change.

There's also those situations where the feelings may not be mutual - when you're only involved with that one person but he/she is still sleeping with other people. MOST people try and add titles to situations like this in order to resolve that issue. However, if one person is clearly not ready to commit and stop messing with other people, a title will make you feel better about the situation but, in reality, he/she will be doing the same thing as before.

Now think about the last time you asked someone, "Will you be my girlfriend/boyfriend?" At a certain age that may have been cute but after about 12 years old, you should stop that shit.

Yours truly,


Cornbread

P.S. Don’t forget to follow on twitter (@FredE_Cornbread and @31Percent)