Piss on Week 4.11.11

Warning!! No one in the following post is actually being pissed on. It is simply an expression meant to describe how outrageous and unforgivable the actions of the following people really are. Anyone who finds this segment offensive automatically gives me the right and the duty to piss on them as well.



Sincerely,



Professional Rationalist



10. Scream 4





The first “Scream” was good. The second and third were acceptable. Now they are just taking it too far.



I’m pissing on the “Scream” movie franchise for not knowing when to hang up the mask and fake blood.



9. Not Knowing Your Jordans





A woman at work wore a fresh pair of Jordan IX’s last Friday. I decided to offer a kind gesture and said, “Nice IX’s.” Her response was very honest..."Huh?” She had on a pair of $150 shoes yet had no idea what they were called!



I’m pissing on anyone who laces up a pair of Jays without taking the time to find out what number they are.



8. HBO





I’ve given HBO long enough to produce a new season of my favorite show, “Curb Your Enthusiasm.” It’s been almost two years since I’ve seen the antics of Larry David. Sure HBO’s website says that new episodes should be airing soon, but until I get a premier date HBO gets pissed on for depriving me of the funniest show on TV.



7. NBA





The NBA fined the New Jersey Nets $50,000 because part-owner Jay-Z went to the University of Kentucky locker room to congratulate them on clinching a spot in the Final Four.

Yeah I understand that it’s against the rules for team personnel to have contact with college players, but being fined 50k for saying congrats is piss-worthy. What’s next? Are they going to consider college players listening to Jay-Z CD’s improper contact too?



6. Socks





Everyday of my life I put on a pair of socks. Everyday I put that same pair of socks in the hamper. Once a week I throw that same pair of socks in the washing machine. When I go to take those two socks out of the washing machine, magically there is only one. Everything else I put in the washer comes out. Where in the hell is that other sock?



Allow me to give a new meaning to the phrase “Gold Toes” and “wet up” socks for never coming out of the washing machine as a pair.



5. Lil John





Music mogul Lil John is denying that he had anything to do with the release of an upcoming porno titled “Club Lil John.” This is not a big deal except for the fact that he has directors credits and is actually in the flick. Hell its called “Club LIL JOHN.”



He gets pissed on for trying to dispute the obvious.



4. Earn Up to 70k





Have you ever applied for a job where the job description says earn up to $70,000? Only to go on the interview and find out that the realistic figure is closer to $24,000?



I’m pissing on these B.S. job descriptions for playing with words.



3. Tom Watson





Golf is by far one of the classiest sports of all time. You can’t even get on the golf course without a polo shirt. If anyone in particular should know that it would be PGA legend Tom Watson.



That’s exactly why he gets pissed on for having etiquette amnesia and urinating on the golf course during the Masters.



2. Ashley Judd





Actress Ashley Judd referred to hip-hop music as “rape culture” in her book titled, Until then you get pissed on for being a whole weirdo.



1. Gloria James





First she allegedly slept with her son’s teammate and now this. Gloria James, Lebron James’ mother, was arrested in Miami for starting a fight with a valet because it took him too long to get her car.



She gets pissed on for being the biggest headache for an NBA player since Allen Iverson’s entourage.