Piss on Week 2.20.12

Warning!! No one in the following post is actually being pissed on. It is simply an expression meant to describe how outrageous and unforgivable the actions of the following people really are. Anyone who finds this segment offensive automatically gives me the right and the duty to piss on them as well.

Sincerely,

Professional Rationalist

10. Lil’ Kim



Female rapper Lil’ Kim has had more comebacks than Rocky Balboa in her career, but none are bad as this one.

Lil’ Kim gets pissed on for T-Paining and using auto-tune on her latest single.



9. Roddy White



Atlanta Falcons wide receiver is pissed that NFL Commissioner Roger Godell makes $20 million per year. When you look at the fact that Roger Godell is running an organization that brings in $9 billion dollars a year, $20 million is just pesos.

Roddy White gets pissed on for complaining about someone making $20 million when he is scheduled to make $50 million. Someone needs to tell him to check his math.


8. Bobby Brown



Ex-husband of Whitney Houston allegedly showed up to his ex-wife’s funeral with ten people when he was only allowed to invite a few guests. Although I do applaud Bobby Brown for not being his normal self and causing a scene, he still gets the business for showing up with extras in his entourage.

Bobby Brown gets pissed on for not making them watch the service on CNN like everyone else.


7. Car Thieves



This past weekend a friend of 31 Percent had her car broken into. I was shocked to say the least. Not because I am naïve to crime, but I didn’t know that people still broke into cars!

Whoever still smashes car windows in hopes of a pay day gets pissed on for thinking that they are on the set of New Jersey Drive.



6. “Drink”



Do me a favor and go to the cold beverage section at your nearest gas station. Right next to the orange juice you will see something that looks very similar but goes by the name of “drink” aka bullsh*t.

I’m pissing on “drink” for its poor attempt at imitating the real deal. I’m an adult. Get me some juice!!

5. Social Media Spam



It’s bad enough I get spam by email. But getting spam on Facebook is downright annoying.

I’m “wetting up” every spam post I’ve received asking if I want to buy fake Air Jordan sneakers for $20 bucks.


4. Ignorant for Income Taxes


I’m sick of people who struggle to buy necessities, but have no problem buying a new car with their income tax check.

If your lights have been cut off this year and you have two gallons of “drink” in your fridge, you get pissed on for even thinking about spending your income tax check on bottle service at the club.

3. Robin Thicke Arrest



The R&B singer was recently arrested for smoking marijuana in his parked Escalade in New York. I’m not upset with Robin Thicke. Some people partake in a little herbal essence from time to time. Plus, it wasn’t like he was driving.

I am “wetting up” the officers who arrested him after he took pictures and signed autographs for them. Talk about being ungrateful.

2. Big Ass Umbrellas




I can’t stand when someone bumps you on the sidewalk with one of this gigantic umbrellas. It only drizzling outside, but they feel the need for double the precipitation protection.

Anyone walking down the street with an umbrella big enough to protect a small village deserves to be pissed on.


1. You!!



Make sure you check out the new 31 Percent Life radio show on G-Town radio. If you enjoy what you see here on the blog and you like good music you get pissed on for not listening the first and third Saturday of every month from 8p.m -10p.m. Click here to catch what you missed last week.