Piss on Week 2.29.12

Warning!! No one in the following post is actually being pissed on. It is simply an expression meant to describe how outrageous and unforgivable the actions of the following people really are. Anyone who finds this segment offensive automatically gives me the right and the duty to piss on them as well.

Sincerely,

Professional Rationalist

10. Sleeping on the Job


Everybody doses off on the job from time to time. But once snoring, drooling or a dream come into the equation you have to get pissed on.

9. Pat Knight


Remember the coaching days of Bobby Knight? You know the guy that through folding chairs onto the court and went off screaming whenever he had the chance too. Well it looks like his son Pat, coach of the Lamar Cardinals is up to the same thing.



He gets pissed on for proving that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.


8. NBA Slam Dunk Contest


I can’t be mad at the guys who competed in this year’s NBA Slam Dunk Contest.

But LeBron James, Dwight Howard, Blake Griffin and Andre Iguodala get “the business” for not coming off their high horse and making it a real competition.

7. Michael Nutter


The Mayor of Philadelphia was captured on camera slapping a woman’s ass at a local bowling alley this past summer. Why is this the first time you’re hearing about it? Because Mayor Nutter put the pressure on local news station not to air the footage.

Nutter gets pissed on for making news editor one of his duties as Mayor.

6. Saving of Philadelphia Catholic Schools


Before you call me an atheist, here me out. I went to Catholic School so this is no prejudice whatsoever. Four Philadelphia Catholic high schools were in danger of closing. In less than two months, $5 million was raised to keep them open. So how is it that we can’t raise half of that in a year to keep open educational programs in the inner city?

I’m pissing on anyone who donated large sums to this cause but refuses to give a dime to stop violence and poverty in the city.

5. Adele


Singing sensation Adele recently gave the middle finger to the host of the 2012 Brit Awards for cutting her acceptance speech short.


A lot of people would say the host should get the business.

But I’m choosing to piss on Adele instead for being so long winded all the time. Sorry sweetheart, but we’ve got an award show to do. Save the rest of your speech for Twitter.

4. Ben and Jerry’s


The famous ice cream company got caught up in the Jeremy Lin hype and put fortune cookies in their “Taste the Lin-Sanity” frozen yogurt. Talk about stereotypes?

Ben and Jerry’s gets pissed on for not calling it a day with the Cherry Garcia flavor.

3. Allen Iverson


In case you haven’t heard Allen Iverson was offered a deal to play soccer for the Rochester Lancers. Normally these types of things are looked at as a joke; a small market team trying to get some publicity. In this case, A.I. may really take the deal!

Allen Iverson gets pissed on for blowing so much money that he has to play soccer in order to survive. What’s next? Bull fighting?

2. Manny Pacquiao


The Pac Man is considering moving from his endorsement deal from Nike to Jordan brand. He gets pissed on for considering anything other than fighting FloydMayweather right now.

1.Marston Hefner


The son of Hugh Hefner was recently arrested for allegedly beating his , “Playmate of the Year,” girlfriend, Claire Sinclair.

Needless to say he gets “wet up” for not knowing how to play it cool with the ladies like his dad.