When I entered my junior year of high school, my grandmother sat me down and gave me a memorable speech. She explained that I would soon be acquiring more freedom and that I would begin to spend less time under her watchful eye. In exchange for my freedom, she requested a few things from me so that she could maintain some peace of mind.
First, she asked that I didn't drink or do drugs. When I laughed at the drinking segment of the discussion, she settled on no drugs. She explained that our family has not had many issues with drug abuse but we do have a checkered past with alcohol.
Next, she asked that I call her for a ride whenever I had too much to drink. She promised to send someone to pick me up, no questions asked. I laughed at the idea of this only to find out years later that my uncle often used my grandmother's taxi service.
Finally, she pleaded with me to wear a condom. The thought of my grandmother, sitting on the edge of her bed, offering to buy me condoms if need be, lowers my sex drive just thinking about it.
I left her bedroom feeling weird, thankful, loved and in need of a stiff drink. I had a new found respect for my grandmother and began to look at her as a regular woman that had rolled a blunt, used a condom, and prayed to the porcelain gods after a long night of drinking her favorite alcoholic beverage.
Whoopi Goldberg seems to be cut from the same cloth. I hope she gets a chance to chat with Michael Phelps.
Michael Phelps marijuana mess!
"The View" Elisabeth Hasselbeck Attacks Michael Phelps For Smoking Marijuana--Whoopi Defends
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