biggie smalls lyrics: Piss on You Week 2.9.09

As many of you may know, I am a firm believer that idiots should be pissed on. Why you ask? It's the ultimate form of disrespect. Punching someone out is soo 90s, Slapping them is too reminiscent of WWF, and spitting on them is not manly at all. The only alternative is to pee on them, preferably by the ankles. Without further adieu, here is this week's list of people who deserve to be pissed on.
- "The Professional Rationalist"

8. Madame Melons

I like big boobs as much as the next guy, but this is just too much.

Madame Melons gets pissed on for being too top heavy.

7. GoDaddy.com

For three years GoDaddy.com has wasted money on high priced, racy Super Bowl advertisements. Did you really think that adding Danica Patrick to your circus would make me finally check out your website.

GoDaddy.com gets the business for assuming that sex always sells.

6. 3-D
Why is it still cool to watch a movie in 3-D? It’s the cheesiest form of entertainment imaginable, but we still have 3-D movies hitting the big screen and cameos during Super Bowl commercials.

It’s the only technological advancement from the 60’s that is still here today. We no longer play records at parties, we stopped playing Atari, and floppy disc have gone out the window.

I’m taking the liberty of burying 3-D and I’m pissing on its grave.

5. Corie Blunt

The former NBA journeyman was arrested for selling marijuana. Marijuana though? I’m not condoning selling drugs nor do I know anything about it beyond watching Scarface or American Gangster, but I do know that kids in high school sell grass. Not a first round NBA draft pick who made $14,361,735 during an eleven year career.

4. Commemorative Coins
How in the hell are you going to charge somebody $9.99 for a quarter. I don’t care whose face is on it.
Brett Favre

Teddy Roosevelt

Bob Marley

A quarter is a quarter and I’m peeing on anybody that wants more than 25 pennies for one.

3. The State of Washington
We all know that the economy is a mess, and we all want logical answers as to how to change things. So imaging you live in Seattle and find out that your state came up with the “bright” idea of using raffles to raise money. All these economists and city planners and the best you can come up with is a raffle?

Don’t worry citizens, they will be calling it the Golden State when I’m done.

2. Punxsutawney Phil

Every year on February 2nd urination worthy individuals swarm to Pennsylvania to watch their beloved groundhog Punxsutawney Phil come out of his hole. If he sees his shadow its six more weeks of winter; if he doesn’t spring will arrive early. I wouldn’t have to piss on you guys if your man Phil was accurate, but according to StormFax Weather Almanac he’s only right 39% of the time. Pissed on for poor choice of a weather man.

1. Jonathan Xavier